New Forest Players 
Ballard School, New Milton 
Darren Funnell 
24 July 2025
David Tristram’s Inspector Drake And The Perfekt Crime is a knowingly ridiculous send-up of the classic murder mystery and this lively production at Ballard School for the New Forest Players embraces the absurdity with confidence. The writing, packed with theatrical in-jokes, daft twists, and knowing deliveries, has VERY familiar whodunnit tropes. The production team and cast use this to exaggerate to the point of affectionate ridicule (of themselves, as well as the material) and it opens a warm, uncomplicated funny evening for the audience. There were plenty of laughs, and in self-aware comedy that is all you really need.
From the off, audiences were treated to a delightful surprise: a brilliantly bonkers animated sequence by James Moody-Jones that made a big impression. Very inventive, this young man has a great future ahead of him. I shall never look at a pipe cleaner in quite the same way again. Equally great to read about new junior backstage roles being taken by Wren Hulse and Megan Raine. Well done to you both.
Leading the charge was Ian Prescott as Inspector Drake, a Shakespearean sleuth in the truest sense, delivering lines with theatrical gravitas and enough self-importance to fill the stage twice over. He swaggered, deduced, with a seriousness that only made it funnier.
By his side, or rather, twenty steps behind, was Peter Cutler’s Sergeant Plod, who broke the fourth wall and milked the meta-humour for all it was worth. Tasked with much of the physical comedy, the role is not subtle but was cheerfully performed, my favourite being the hand in the… oh, you’ll see.
Adam Ogilvy brought a suave absurdity to Dr Short (or is he? {insert dramatic music}). His comic timing was bang on and his pompous energy a great foil for the surrounding silliness. Meanwhile, the femme fatales (and not-so-femme fatale) were played with verve by Stephanie McMahon and Victoria Sanford, each bringing sass, strength, and in two memorable moments, ‘torches’, to the stage. Both performed with ease, lust and fire, though what they see in Inspector Drake is beyond me. I suppose he is tall. Short. Oh, never mind.
The production boasts a professional sheen that audiences have come to expect from the New Forest Players. Simon Hanney’s lighting design was smartly employed to spotlight punchlines and visual gags, particularly during the cleverly chaotic recap that opens the second half, where perfectly timed cues amplified the absurdity.
David Ward’s set design and David Luker’s decor were both pitch-perfect, grounding the mayhem in a well-designed drawing room set that walked the line of classic mystery and comic exaggeration. One particularly well-sourced item set up a glorious Reggie Perrin-style gag, while another moment involving the demise of a flock of flying ducks brought the house down.
Full credit must go to Sarah Haberfield, Sue Darcy, and Katie Kelly for their work on props and costumes. Every object, accessory, and outfit were exactly where it needed to be to serve the comedy. From Drake’s cartoonish trench coat to the increasingly ludicrous visual gags, their contributions helped elevate the whole production with precision and a wink.
Under the poised direction of Alan Whitty, this Inspector Drake doesn’t worry about being neat or tidy. It’s completely unapologetic in its pursuit of the punchline. As ever, some are harder to land than others. If you’re after a who-cares-whodunit that leaves you grinning and often laughing out loud, this is your ticket. It is playing at Ballard School each evening at 7.30pm until Saturday 26 July. An often slick, silly spoof, Inspector Drake delivers daft detective work very, very well. Try saying that after a glass or two.
